A month in

It is a month to the day that I started the new medication and a little over a month since the “event.”  I think I have made progress.  The very fact I am still here is testament to that, I guess.  However, I still felt before I had the doctors review today that I am not quite on the right dose.  I am getting better but I am also still having (albeit not so frequent) bouts of anxiety, self-doubt and sags in mood.  Not to mention irritability. I snap sometimes for no or little reason.  I hate it and feel terrible but don’t seem to be able to control it.

I discussed these and other things with the doctor today.  The appointment was a little early in the scheme of the medication getting to its full effect but since I only had a months’ worth and the doc (rightly) wanted me back in for review (mainly because I was in such a mess last time I barely spoke for myself.)  The doctor I am seeing is pretty good.  It does help seeing the same one as they get to know you.  However, I doubt that will last as they seem to switch/leave often.  I can ask for the same one, but they move on to other practices etc so frequently it seems that it is almost impossible to stay with the same one for more than three or four appointments.

Anyway, he agreed to put me up a dose based on the discussion we had.  I took the new dose before writing this.  Let’s hope that the side effects lessen and the positive effects increase.  I will be going back to the doctors in about 2 months.  This should be plenty of time to assess the effectiveness.  Or at least determine I am moving in the right direction.

On another topic though, whilst all this has been going on I have been doing a lot of self-reflection.  A couple of things I really want to focus on in the next few months:

• Trying to reignite my passion into personal projects such as electronics and coding
• Losing weight
• Getting fit

I’m hoping that the last two will help with the first one since a lot of my issues stem from tiredness.  I know it is not all from my weight and fitness.  Say 50% those two and 50% depression and anxiety sapping my energy and enthusiasm.  Anyway, I can feel my eyes dropping a little now, so I best proofread and post.  Apologies in advance if there are mistakes/typos.